The Worst Lobster Roll Ever

I dont' want to become the negative one of the bunch, but with all this talk of proper lobster rolls, I feel the need to share a sad tale of woe.

Once upon a time, in upstate New York, a land far far away from good seafood, there was a girl named Schmat who had a bad day at work. She decided that a lobster roll would be the perfect pick me up, so she headed to the only seafood restaurant in town, The Weathervane (yeah, I'm naming names). She ordered a lobster roll to go, and sat in the poorly decorated, poorly ventilated bar area to wait for her food. While she waited, she enjoyed a half-decent margarita, and pondered how this restaurant remains open, as surely it is the most pathetic restaurant in the land, and indeed the butthole of the Weathervane franchise.

Upon sighting the carry out bag coming towards her, she gulped the last of her cocktail and enthusiastically thanked the 17 year-old hostess. Schmat carefully shuttled her precious cargo home, contemplating the most efficient way to turn on the tv, change in to pajamas, and quickly settle in to enjoy the perfect meal. Alas, Schmat was terribly disappointed. Instead of meaty, firm chunks of lobster, it was a sandy and grainy texture, no doubt due to improper cooking. The bun, although it was appropriately "New England" style, was soggy. And if Shmat ever finds out which Weathervane employee neglected to include the french fries with the lobster roll, that person will surely meet a grim end.

So, glad tidings to ye who are on the coast, where delicious lobster is plentiful, and they can probably put together a decent lobster roll even at McDonald's....where they'd never forget the fries!!