The Grossest

In the spirit of keeping the blog active, and inspired by the fact that I'm leaving my job, I am now going to briefly discuss the grossest food items I've encountered. Thankfully, the list is not long, and hopefully it will help us appreciate those delicious bites all the more.

1. Tuna Boats: This is a sentimental job listing, and keep in mind that as I write this I am very near my last day, having resigned after 8 years.
Prolly my first week at the group home for adults with mental illness, I was assigned to cook with a woman whom I'll call "Laundry Lady". She was assigned to my caseload. About 5 feet tall, crazy grey white lady 'fro, and a permanent wardrobe of sweatpants- you'd be able to identify this woman as "a little offsky" even if you didn't have any type of training in psychology or psychiatry. Our assignment was to prepare "Tuna Boats" for the 13 residents of the house. Recipe was basic tuna salad in New England style hot dog rolls. Except we didn't have a recipe for tuna salad, and I had no creativity in this regard at this time. So it was pretty much just tuna, mayo, and maybe some pepper. Laundry Lady didn't have her dentures in, so she drooled a long piece of drool as she was stirring the gross tuna (she slurped it back in before it reached the big plastic orange bowl). And finally, this was not Chicken of the Sea we're talkin' about. It is giant cans of dark-meat-off-brand-food-bank tuna. I think we served it with ripple chips. Let's just say it's a miracle I can still eat tuna salad. (Also, the menus at the house have become more sophisticated.)
Also, and I'm not even kidding and intend no disrespect, but Laundry Lady has since passed away. The tuna boats is not even my worst memory of her (ask about the "Poo Gloves") but she had many good qualities and I'm sure she'd love the blog.

2. One time I made dip and I didn't have chips. I had sour cream, salsa, and some shredded cheddar. I mixed it all together, knowing full well that I had no chips or other dipping materials. I tried to eat it with a spoon, thinking that the chips weren't that important. The chips are important, people. Although I did eat one spoonful, I then felt very bad about myself and threw the rest of the pathetic dip away. I have to say it was a low point in my life.

3. Another work related moment- Salmon patties. Before I worked in mental health, I didn't know that salmon came in a can. I didn't know that you could make "patties" or "casserole" out of canned salmon. I don't recommend it.

4. One time, this person I know dropped a Doughboy on the sidewalk of Caroline Street in Saratoga, and then ate it anyways. Oh...wait.....that was me. And it was delicious.