We rocked NYC, until it rocked me...
It all started with a drunken phone call from Schmat. "Wanna go to NYC for my 35th to see Book of Mormon". "Sure", I replied. I love it when others plan my social life. Julie McCoy does it all the time for me. She makes lists and google docs with things to do/see/eat. Schmat plans my getaways. 6 years ago she planned a 3 week excursion for us to England, Ireland, and Scotland. 8 years ago it was London and Paris. She has never failed me, so I said yes. I had no idea what the Book of Mormon was, but I was game. Soon after that, as word got out that I was heading to NYC to see the show, people started telling me how jealous they were of me. "Do you know how hard it is to get tickets to that show? How did you do it?" Easy...Schmat did it for me. Then, it won 9 Tony Awards. Yup, I was gonna go to NYC to see Tony Award winning show! "What's it like to want, suckers!" I thought to myself.
We timed it perfectly. Schmat got into JFK 30 minutes before me and met me as I got off the plane. We took a death defying cab ride to our hotel, The Hudson, in midtown. The ride was totally worth it, as the hotel was amazing! Incredible bars and lounging areas...not to mention central air conditioning, which was essential on this 90 degree humid day. From there, we were off to Julie McCoy's favorite restaurant for lunch. We were the coolest people there because I ordered the quattro panini, which isn't even on the menu anymore. We also drank proseco, which was delicious on this steamy day. We wandered a bit, ate gelato in Central Park (Schmat picked pistachio because she was attracted to the color, I had the usual chocolate) and headed back to the hotel to rest, clean up, and get ready for dinner.
After much contemplation, we decided to walk to dinner. Thankfully, there was a street fair of some sort on Broadway that broke up the walk a bit. I secretly love street fairs. They are so dirty and a rip off, but there is something so appealing about them. Schmat and I each bought a David Yurman knockoff ring and were quite satisfied with our purchases. We ate our prix fix dinner and had plenty of time to wander a bit more before going to the show.
Then, it happened. We saw Book of Mormon. For those of you who don't know what it is, look it up. It is only the funniest thing I've seen thus far in my life. How can you not love a musical with lyrics such as "F U God" about a missionary who dreams to be sent to the majestic Orlando, FLA!?! And here's the cherry on the top of this amazing evening....wait for it....Oprah and Gayle were in the audience. Yup. Oprah Winfrey and her non sexual life partner, Gayle King were in the same room as us. Don't hate! Since all good things come in threes, I ran into Christopher Noth as we were trying to get away from the crowds of the theater. Yes, ladies, Mr. Big is as beautiful in person as he is on t.v.
Oh, and I almost forgot. Because we are crazy and adventurous, Schmat and I decided to go to the nightclub in our hotel after the show for just one drink. After we ordered our first drink, we looked at each other and realized just how out of place we were. One drink. Then we could go to bed and say that we were fancy ladies in NYC who went to a Broadway show and sipped cocktails and a nightclub afterward. Three hours and many drinks later, we were still there. We took control of the bar and became gatekeepers for those looking to get closer to the bartenders. We realize now that being the gatekeepers was probably a huge faux pax, but we didn't care. We were superstars!
The next day proved to be equally as lovely as the last. Leisurely brunch, a stroll through the neighborhood, and magazine reading time in the outdoor space of our hotel. Incredible. Schmat had to head to the airport in the mid afternoon while I headed to Brooklyn to visit a friend for a few hours. Like a fancy person from Park Slope, I had to call a car service to get a ride to JFK. On the way to the airport, I couldn't help but think what an amazing weekend Schmat and I had in NYC. It was truly perfect...until it wasn't.
The next 12 hours were a bit of a blur to me. I spent most of them in the bathroom at JFK, the bathroom on the airplane, the bathroom at Logan, and then my own bathroom. I don't know what hit me, but whatever it was, it was miserable. It sucked. I can't imagine anything worse. Ok, maybe I can imagine worse things, but at the time, it felt like NYC was giving me the finger.
Schmat and I had rocked NYC, and then in rocked me in return!
2 comments:
I do love NYC but she can be a cruel mistress! Julie McCoy had to steer me towards a Crate and Barrel that had bathrooms one time after a food festival in Chinatown. Nothing like making your friends wander thru glassware and bed linens while I spent some "quality time" in the public bathrooms. There should be an app for that!
You guys are definitely the funniest people I know. Thank you so much for telling some of the best stories I have ever read. Your weekend sounded perfect, and made me excited for our 40th. And, you saw mr.big in ny on a tot sex in the city outing! That is more than perfect. Way to go on planning schmat. You really should start your own travel company. As for the stomach trauma, I recently came down with a similar case at a water park on a family getaway. Why can't those things happen at home?
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